I was Just three years old when I lost my mother to domestic violence. (that’s another story in itself…hold ON! Imma get to it!) But I lost my father too! 22 years I wondered who I was EXACTLY! Why is my hair snow white…at the age of 2?! (a bit of dramatic but lets carry on 😂 ) Where did the fatty part between my eyes come from? (ask me to squint! When I do it at home my husband grabs it! Lol! I love him!) I am so tall and thick! Why was I wearing a size 12 in a shoe AT THE AGE OF 12?! I am overly passionate and deep about everything I hold dear. Why?
I cry…over and about everything! (but this is changing surprisingly!) Where did I come from? Who did I come from? And what’s in my lineage? These questions and so many more were left unanswered…for 22 years! This void grew wider and deeper each of those years.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Such a beautiful piece of architecture, but off…noticeably off! I was! At least to me!
Those around me seen strength; not falling over. But inside I failed miserably. EVERYDAY! I never measured up. I wasn’t enough or too much! (I delight in that now! I’m EXTRA and I know it! 😂) My foundation was unrepairable. And even if it was to be repaired, I couldn’t do it! I didn’t know who I was to even start. I was just tall…leaning…and my foundation could NEVER be corrected!
…so I thought!
You see, a father gives identity. Even in the Natural. It’s his seed that determines the sex of the child. Did I allow God to determine who I would be or the pain? Will you allow God to determine who you will be after the storm..and even during? What will be your response? Will you exchange a bitter heart for a better one? One that is more whole!
There is a lyric in “Saving Grace Day” from HEAVENS RADIO that I am reminded of—“you took my broken heart and found the pieces I’ve never knew were gone.” The only one that can do such is the one that KNOWS you and created you in His image. He never FAILS! The greatest architect!! He formed you! Jer. 29:11 ”I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Our Father gives you an identity before YOU even understand who you are! Again, He made you in a way to look just like Him and He is more than familiar with Himself! “God replied to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. Say this to the people of Israel: I AM has sent me to you.” Exodus 3:14 (Read this entire passage)
Moses was too afraid of what the people would think after instructions were given of RESTORATION! And that was me! That is honestly all of us! We are always full of questions due to the fear of the unknown. Once we are given the keys to freedom, or our change is right in front of us then we want to say “But what if they don’t see?” “What will the people think?” “I am going to be different!” “What will their response be?” Don’t worry about it, baby! Your cries have been heard and the Architect is RESTORING your foundation! Lean NOT on your own understanding!!!
Take a moment to reflect on the areas God is trying to restructure in your life this week…your home life, ministry, relationships! Whatever it is…BE HEALED!
Valerie Nichole 📻