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Speak Truth

Allow Me To Introduce Myself…But WHO Am I?

I was Just three years old when I lost my mother to domestic violence. (that’s another story in itself…hold ON! Imma get to it!) But I lost my father too! 22 years I wondered who I was EXACTLY! Why is my hair snow white…at the age of 2?! (a bit of dramatic but lets carry on 😂 ) Where did the fatty part between my eyes come from? (ask me to squint! When I do it at home my husband grabs it! Lol! I love him!) I am so tall and thick! Why was I wearing a size 12 in a shoe AT THE AGE OF 12?! I am overly passionate and deep about everything I hold dear. Why?

I cry…over and about everything! (but this is changing surprisingly!) Where did I come from? Who did I come from? And what’s in my lineage? These questions and so many more were left unanswered…for 22 years! This void grew wider and deeper each of those years.

The Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Such a beautiful piece of architecture, but off…noticeably off! I was! At least to me!

Those around me seen strength; not falling over. But inside I failed miserably. EVERYDAY! I never measured up. I wasn’t enough or too much! (I delight in that now! I’m EXTRA and I know it! 😂) My foundation was unrepairable. And even if it was to be repaired, I couldn’t do it! I didn’t know who I was to even start. I was just tall…leaning…and my foundation could NEVER be corrected!

…so I thought!

You see, a father gives identity. Even in the Natural. It’s his seed that determines the sex of the child. Did I allow God to determine who I would be or the pain? Will  you allow God to determine who you will be after the storm..and even during? What will be your response? Will you exchange a bitter heart for a better one? One that is more whole!

There is a lyric in “Saving Grace Day” from HEAVENS RADIO that I am reminded of—“you took my broken heart and found the pieces I’ve never knew were gone.” The only one that can do such is the one that KNOWS you and created you in His image. He never FAILS! The greatest architect!! He formed you! Jer. 29:11 ”I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Our Father gives you an identity before YOU even understand who you are! Again, He made you in a way to look just like Him and He is more than familiar with Himself!  “God replied to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. Say this to the people of Israel: I AM has sent me to you.” Exodus 3:14 (Read this entire passage)

Moses was too afraid of what the people would think after instructions were given of RESTORATION! And that was me! That is honestly all of us! We are always full of questions due to the fear of the unknown. Once we are given the keys to freedom, or our change is right in front of us then we want to say “But what if they don’t see?” “What will the people think?” “I am going to be different!” “What will their response be?” Don’t worry about it, baby! Your cries have been heard and the Architect is RESTORING your foundation! Lean NOT on your own understanding!!!

Take a moment to reflect on the areas God is trying to restructure in your life this week…your home life, ministry, relationships! Whatever it is…BE HEALED!

Love,

Valerie Nichole 📻

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The Styrofoam Cup Pt. 1

#TheFathersHeart_The Styrofoam Cup Pt. 1

An open sore leads to infection. An unguarded heart can lead to a heart break. Unprotected sex before marriage leads to a baby before you are ready…soul ties…STD’s (sometimes can’t get rid of)…more heart break…unhealthy relationship cycles, Need I go on?! Take my word for it! Been there and done that—had the t-shirts annnnd destroyed them!

But that’s exactly what happens and what it feels like being uncovered. Unprotected. In. These. Streets.

You’re left open.

I remember my first boyfriend. I was a late bloomer but when I bloomed, I. Bloomed! Flower power to ya girl! I was 18. I started dating “Marshall” nearing the end of my senior internship I was doing in high school. He was older than me. 25. He towered over me and his skin was dark. Like daaawk!

Marshall watched me. I remember sitting at lunch with a friend and he eyed me. I was so thrown because before then I had never had a man look at me in that manner, that wasn’t 50 years old (if I did get attention it was from the geriatric community…so I always shrugged it off 😂) and I notice it. I was naive. I thought I was doing something wrong or I had a stain and only he noticed….I don’t know! I was just confused! He finally came up to me and in the thickest and most smooth French/African accent said “You’re gonna be my girlfriend!” He was from Senegal. I just bashfully smiled, put my head down, gathered my tray from lunch and walked away….with a number. My friend and I cracked up.

>> Fast FORWARD>>

Last couple of weeks of school he came to see me without anyone knowing. He drove a brown Astro Van. He delivered the newspapers.

After school let out, if I was to continue to see him, then I would have to tell my folks! I was scared! Terrified actually! I never had a boyfriend. And I knew they wouldn’t approve. BUT! My granny shockingly asked to meet him! My. Heart. Dropped! Yet  excited, I agreed. I called him and we scheduled that weekend, which everyone was “coincidentally” at my house. (only added person was my aunt but that IS everyone in my world)

I had always seen Marshall in work clothes. He delivered newspapers in bulk to hospitals, gas stations, and markets…so he always was grungy looking but he was still attractive to me at the time. (love is NOT blind but will make you GO blind because I reflect today and this dude was NOT the cutest crayon in the box…maybe cause I am laying next to this Chocolate Biscuit husband of mine, #beardgang, thick and curly hair, with a smile that consumes my bad day…I digress!) But when he showed up to my house?! He. Cleaned. Up. He had on a mens velour suit, white with a blue stripe up the side of his pant leg; A fitted blue cap to match and white shoes. He brought me flowers and I smelled him from the van while I stood on the porch. I ran out and greeted him and he politely kissed me on my cheek. My granny wasn’t too far and engaged in convo immediately. My Paw Paw chilled. My aunt stood a little far off just looking.

Marriage was soon talked about and we planned to secretly get married that winter. (He probably needed a green card 🙄) After the GREAT first impression, my family trusted him. But what seemed like just the right time to switch the game up and confuse me, he did! He became mean gradually and secretive over time.

And then it happened…

I was at his house, and he had just made some African dish and I was straightening up his apartment. (Only “love” could make me do THAT! Lol) Then there they were. I found a pair of female underwear and my stomach hit the other sphere of the earth. I was mad and scared, mostly mad and thats the emotion shown. I went storming to the kitchen. And threw them. (Madea movie, I know…) but he grabbed me up threw me up against a wall and banged his fist up against the wall and I was in the middle. He yelled something in French (to this day I don’t know what was said) and tears streamed down my face. In that moment, I felt my mom. I was quiet the rest of the evening. When he dropped me off, I only seen him a few times after. I stopped talking about him. I slowly stopped calling him. And then stopped answering his calls. I wasn’t doing that! I wasn’t going to be like my mom.

I didn’t become angry with God immediately after. It wasn’t until after a trail of incidents that I did. (I may write about that one later.)

Why was no one checking for me? Not a question asked. After being sheltered for so long, I felt like I was thrown out for the wolves to devour. (Even though it was my choice.) I felt alone. After all, he didn’t rape or put his hands on me the way others would categorize as serious.

But what happened was deep. Outside my Paw Paw, it was the first interaction I had with “love” and it wasn’t the fairytale high school sweetheart feeling this hopeless romantic thought it would be. My perspective of love was damaged and every “relationship” I seen through this obscured vision.

I felt like I had to take it all. I was a punching bag for anger and feelings and hurtful words was my normal.

I remember another “relationship” I found myself in after I encountered Christ. And he said some pretty damaging things to me through twitter. (that relationship I said I may talk about) He Hacked into my account and for all the world to see, damaged my integrity. And it triggered something in me that I had never felt. HATE! I left work, pawned a few things for extra cash, got in my 1999 Dodge Durango and I had a plan. I called my sister in Christ and I told her what I was going to do. Nothing was going to stop me!! He had to pay. Pay for them all. Somebody did.

I didn’t feel “He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” Psalm 91:4

It was total opposite! I was in fact was heavy, (and not cause I was chunky! I was skinny fat back then!) much like an anchor! I was Weighed down in a hole of depression. I was so uncovered and vulnerable to all the wrong things. There was no protection. No barriers. I was weak and flimsy. Much like…

A styrofoam cup…with holes; leaking and not overflowing.

…to be continued…

8sFxy

Hello Compassion

STORY TIME: Hello Comapassion

Human: Of or characteristic of people’s better qualities, such as kindness or sensitivity

Per definition, we are to rise above. We have the capacity to be a better people! We can make a conscious and sound choice to simply…love! That is absolutely beautiful tooooo meeeeee. (yes, I am a ball of sunshine and daisies and hearts!) No, but for REAL! We can LEAD our hearts to care. We can be kind and fair. We can be joyful and full of life and we can truly be altruistic!

I’ve come to learn that this compassion, love, and “better qualities” can be like a yawn! Contagious! You, know…like when one person yawns, it starts a whole chain of yawns with whoever is around! (No, like literally I typed “yawn’ annnnnd I yawned! 😳 (ok ,I am freaked out!)

That’s how <3 LOVE <3 IS…at least it should be!

Last summer I was at the mall…on a weekday! Yes, I know! I love working a split. I get 4-6 hours to chill, unwind, be alone, and sleep! Midday naps!

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Anyways…back to this story! #PeterRabbitHole moment…

At the mall…last summer…midday, I was just enjoying my little time off! I was riding looking for a parking spot…to my surprise! (Did these people not have jobs to be at? Guess they have splits too! *side eyes*) As I was riding, there was a man in a wheelchair. I noticed he was saying “Hi” or “Have a nice day!” to everyone that passed him; even to those in cars that pulled up in his vicinity dropping people off at the door. He would blurt out this GIGANTIC “HI” and wave, the best he could, and paired it with a gigantic smile to match! My heart was chocolate sitting in a HOT car during the summer time! MELTED! (I can be extremely sentimental) I couldn’t wait to get mine!

….But I sat in my car a little bit and watched…(yes, I am a creep!)

I watched as so many people ignored him. Literally! They walked right by and that melted heart soon began to hurt. How could you ignore? Was walking into a mall to purchase something you probably didn’t need more important than a response? Even a quick wave back? Are we as a people really that oblivious and self consumed, selfishly worrying about only what we are part of or connected to?

I thought to myself “How many of y’all claim to luh Jesus?”

1 John 4:20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?

Ok, so hate is a strong word here…but is it really? We are the hands, feet, voice, and should carry the presence of Jesus wherever we go. We are so self absorbed that we ignore those around us hurting and reaching out for what God has invested in us.

“Ephesians 4:2 “Be COMPLETELY humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

God has been patient with us and bearing with us in love since the Garden of Eden. #Throwback His gentle hand of mercy carried us and held back a judgment with our name on it, but He erased our name from the judgment, only to write it on a blessing! #TYJ!!

One definition of “bearing” is to support or hold up. Take a moment today to do that! Who will you cover or lift to the Father? It is the second, yet equally important commandment after loving our Father!

The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.” Matt 22:39

It goes on to say that everything that we are called to do is based on these TWO commandments!

Perhaps we can’t love properly because we fail to love ourselves. Do we show ourselves compassion or forgive ourselves when we don’t measure up to the standards of others or even ourselves? We are our own worst critics. I posted a little bit ago on my personal facebook that we often write ourselves off before anybody else. It’s true! We fail to love and be compassionate towards ourselves so it becomes impossible to give to others! That itself can be a whole ‘notha writing! Self care and self love!

Another definition of “bear” is to give birth! And when a man and a woman love each other…😜 (trust me a lot of my friends are DEEP in love with 12 kids! Each! Lol Shout out to my homies! ) We can birth love in this earth because once we encounter God He softens the soil of our hearts and plants that seed within us! Then we are able to produce it! Agape Love! This love is pure, and untainted! It is wide, open, runs deep and available to all!

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. John 13:34

Bearing each other in love proves that we understand the Great Commission!

After sitting for a while, I finally got out and I had a small conversation. He told a few jokes. I legit laughed until tears. I went in and ran out the mall and he was still there so I said good bye. I passed him and he yelled out “YOU MADE MY DAY!” And told me to have a blessed day. I responded with matched excitement “NO! You’ve made MINE!” He actually did! He taught me to intentionally be compassionate. To stop and not just smell my roses, but to help tend another’s garden as well and smell their roses!

I called my fiancé, at the time, in tears with my heart so full of love! I am sure we each made a deposit in the others love tank!

Take time to love the unlovable. Don’t expect anything back. JUST LOVE! Love heals. Love restores. Love transforms. Love restores. Love mends broken relationships. Love forgives. Love does it all because GOD IS LOVE!

But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:8

 

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“My name is Valerie Nichole and I be Chillin the most…Ayyyyye!”

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What’s Goooooood?!

My name is Valerie Nichole Price-Pearson. I am many things; lover, friend, daughter, wife! You will read about a few of those. The main purpose of this page is to love! And share my heart. Because guess what? You are not alone. Not. At. All. There is no perfect world, not on this side at least, but we are in this one. I choose to love, encourage, and be as vulnerable as possible. Ride with me!

Writing has always been a passion of mine. Let me rephrase that. Creative writing has always been a passion of mine. I enjoy words and how they can edify! They can encourage and love and at the same time rip you into a million pieces. I’ve done both. It only takes the word or words to be said ONCE before they are permanently engraved in the brain and shapes ones interaction with the world: the world that is NOT perfect.

I enjoy devotionals. You will see them here. Life application of God’s word. Make it make sense to me! Lol! It’s usually the only way I will get it. And definitely the only way I will remember it. My brain retains ohhhh……just about NOTHING! DANGER DANGER! Lies are definitely not my strong point. I will forget it all! LOL!

Poetry. Before I wrote a song, it was poetry. And I don’t share that! …until my first EP “Heavens Radio”! You can cop it! It’s dope! But I need to “throw up” sometimes and not all the time is a melody needed! Can I just get this OUT please? …ON PAPER! Old school? Yes I am! This typing this is gonna be something. I have notebooks for days! Ask my husband! He politely placed them in a box in the closet. He hates clutter, yet he married me! 😂 (He is the melody to my harmony! …love you babe😍)

Just be ready for it all! I’ve been saying I was going to do this forever! ..and recent events have pushed me to do so…

So, Here goes!

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Scared for WHAT?!

Fear is one of the biggest distractions and hurdles we face when our hearts are longing to
meet destiny! We wrestle and fight with it, asking IT to free US! We have a dream, God gives us vision annnnnd THEN He shows us that it’s much bigger than we anticipated…sooooo we bow out!

 

top lip: “31”

bottom lip: “Scared for what?!”

 

Guess what!? I’m so totally guilty of this more than 100x!

I forget I have a Savior who fearlessly looked at death in the face and asked where was its sting!

We are POWERFUL ladies! We’re brave! We love! And we’re full of wisdom and sound judgment!
We won’t let fear flood our minds and drown us in our own thoughts! …Because we know we can all think some crazy things about ourselves! So share YOU, your gifts, talents and abilities with the world!

Be Bold. Be Brave. Be Fearless.

You’re scared for what?!

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50 Shades of…Red

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There is no middle ground with this color! Color of anger, yet a color of intimacy.

Color of love and the color for hate. But its also the color of painful redemption; the pursuit of freedom and love for mankind, nestled in the bosom of grace and mercy…

Wearing “Because He First Loved Us”

So why are we afraid of love in its purest form? 

Because a great level of sacrifice and selflessness is inevitable when it’s done right. We very much so let go of our desires to learn of another. Verses 17 here says “its [LOVE] been perfected”. Once we invite Jesus into our hearts and there is acknowledgment of Him being our savior, He begins to live in us and a blueprint and roadmap is provided on how to do this love thing correctly…without fear! With guidance, we can love Him because He showed us how He wants to be loved! He loves when we speak well of Him and sing new songs of praise and adoration. He’s sung over us. He loves when we consult Him, yet we have free will. He enjoys us being solely dependent on Him alone without wavering. And like any good father, He loves when we are obedient and take heed to warnings to prevent a “boo boo”! We’re His children! We can love Jesus in our sphere of perfection simply “Because He First Loved Us”…

“I am unloved.” I can’t be loved, nor am I worthy.” No longer let these lies take precedence of the TRUTH! 

We are His Beloved ones! He is very much so in love with you and desires for you to be in love with Him!

Listenting to “Saving Grace Day” from the album “Heavens Radio” on iTunes and all other music platforms by Valerie Nichole

https://music.apple.com/us/album/heavens-radio/1074255422